PTG- Post Traumatic Growth
Can Adversity be a good thing? Can it be a catalyst for change? Hell YES!” (A phrase that has become a part of my vocabulary since I met my dear friend Terri Wingham, founder of A Fresh Chapter, this summer.)
Being diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma, an incurable blood cancer, at age 49 was a devastating event. At the time of my diagnosis I was in disbelief. After reconciling the initial period of denial fear crept in. I was feeling sorry for myself, but I felt devastated for my family who I believed would be without a wife and mother in just a few years. I began preparing for my death by getting my affairs in order, writing letters and planning family vacations to places like Disney and Las Vegas in hopes of making lasting memories. Memories I hoped my family will cherish once I was gone. But as I was preparing for my death I began living. I was now doing things I always seemed to put off in the past. I was living in the moment and enjoying life.
Thanks to advances in myeloma treatment and my wonderful medical team what seemed to be a death sentence 9 years ago actually became a catalyst to re-evaluate my life. It was a rebirth. Experts call this post traumatic growth (PTG) I call it a wake-up call. I started questioning my existence. What was my purpose? Why am I here? What can I do to make this thing called life better for everyone?
Being diagnosed with myeloma and living with the ups and downs of cancer treatment helped me become resilient, therefore I am more willing to take chances. I have greater confidence in myself and in my actions. Prior to my diagnosis I was NOT a risk-taker. My attitude was if something wasn’t broken, there was no need to change it. Why take the risk in trying to make it better - it could actually get worse. I was satisfied with the status quo. I didn’t want to deal with the what if my changes failed.
A gradual transformation in my attitude began to occur the longer I was living with cancer. I was no longer limiting myself by what-ifs. I was challenging myself with why nots. I was fortunate to have met outstanding cancer advocates and myeloma specialists who would think outside of the box and challenge others to do the same. Their mind set was different than mind. They wanted to focus on how to make things better even if they weren’t broken. They weren’t afraid of taking risks even if they failed. They were resilient and had self-confidence. They realized that nothing ventured nothing gained was a reality.
Seeing these amazing individuals accomplish great things became my inspiration. What could I do to change the world? How could I use my skills to make a difference? . Being a teacher I wanted to instill in others the importance of being a life long learner. Knowledge is power and empowered patients who are partners in their healthcare tend to have better outcomes for their given situation. I began living at the edge of my comfort zone. I pushed myself to speak publicly something I would have steered clear of doing prior to my cancer diagnosis. I also started using social media to educate the myeloma community.
I was beginning to make a difference, but deep down I knew I could be more impactful if I shared stories. People learn best through story telling. But for me to share stories with hundreds maybe thousands of people from around the world would require me to write a blog. Blogging is something I felt very uncomfortable doing for several reasons.
I hate writing. My high school English teacher would mark up my essays with red pen, but never offer suggestions on how to improve upon my work. Words like awkward, unclear and fragment were scribbled throughout my heartfelt stories. I began to dread English class and considered myself a bad writer. Writing want fun, it was a chore.
Blogging makes you vulnerable. If you wish to really connect with people you must write from your heart. Writing from your heart and wearing your feelings on your sleeve make you vulnerable. Until recently I didn’t want to be vulnerable. I didn’t want to ruffle feathers or speak about my deepest feelings. I felt safe keeping my feelings to myself. I didn’t want to get hurt. I didn’t want to be vulnerable.
What made me take on this new challenge of being vulnerable? -Terri Wingham and A Fresh Chapter! I have had the opportunity to experience this amazing program twice. First at the Cancer Advocates Refresh Program and more recently as part of the Peru Odyssey. These programs have given me the tools to believe in myself, live at the end of my comfort zone, and reimagine the future. I see the world through a different lens and have Terri and my tribes to thank.
But I now know I’m resilient and if I get hurt I can bounce back. I know that people read stories and form connections with the story teller. My friend Pat Killingsworth was a wonderful story teller. He had connections deep within the myeloma community. He helped and inspired countless individuals including me with his daily blog. Pat was vulnerable. His untimely death left a hole in the myeloma community. One that has not been filled.
Adversity has brought about a positive change in me.
A Fresh Chapter
Being diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma, an incurable blood cancer, at age 49 was a devastating event. At the time of my diagnosis I was in disbelief. After reconciling the initial period of denial fear crept in. I was feeling sorry for myself, but I felt devastated for my family who I believed would be without a wife and mother in just a few years. I began preparing for my death by getting my affairs in order, writing letters and planning family vacations to places like Disney and Las Vegas in hopes of making lasting memories. Memories I hoped my family will cherish once I was gone. But as I was preparing for my death I began living. I was now doing things I always seemed to put off in the past. I was living in the moment and enjoying life.
Thanks to advances in myeloma treatment and my wonderful medical team what seemed to be a death sentence 9 years ago actually became a catalyst to re-evaluate my life. It was a rebirth. Experts call this post traumatic growth (PTG) I call it a wake-up call. I started questioning my existence. What was my purpose? Why am I here? What can I do to make this thing called life better for everyone?
Being diagnosed with myeloma and living with the ups and downs of cancer treatment helped me become resilient, therefore I am more willing to take chances. I have greater confidence in myself and in my actions. Prior to my diagnosis I was NOT a risk-taker. My attitude was if something wasn’t broken, there was no need to change it. Why take the risk in trying to make it better - it could actually get worse. I was satisfied with the status quo. I didn’t want to deal with the what if my changes failed.
A gradual transformation in my attitude began to occur the longer I was living with cancer. I was no longer limiting myself by what-ifs. I was challenging myself with why nots. I was fortunate to have met outstanding cancer advocates and myeloma specialists who would think outside of the box and challenge others to do the same. Their mind set was different than mind. They wanted to focus on how to make things better even if they weren’t broken. They weren’t afraid of taking risks even if they failed. They were resilient and had self-confidence. They realized that nothing ventured nothing gained was a reality.
Seeing these amazing individuals accomplish great things became my inspiration. What could I do to change the world? How could I use my skills to make a difference? . Being a teacher I wanted to instill in others the importance of being a life long learner. Knowledge is power and empowered patients who are partners in their healthcare tend to have better outcomes for their given situation. I began living at the edge of my comfort zone. I pushed myself to speak publicly something I would have steered clear of doing prior to my cancer diagnosis. I also started using social media to educate the myeloma community.
I was beginning to make a difference, but deep down I knew I could be more impactful if I shared stories. People learn best through story telling. But for me to share stories with hundreds maybe thousands of people from around the world would require me to write a blog. Blogging is something I felt very uncomfortable doing for several reasons.
I hate writing. My high school English teacher would mark up my essays with red pen, but never offer suggestions on how to improve upon my work. Words like awkward, unclear and fragment were scribbled throughout my heartfelt stories. I began to dread English class and considered myself a bad writer. Writing want fun, it was a chore.
Blogging makes you vulnerable. If you wish to really connect with people you must write from your heart. Writing from your heart and wearing your feelings on your sleeve make you vulnerable. Until recently I didn’t want to be vulnerable. I didn’t want to ruffle feathers or speak about my deepest feelings. I felt safe keeping my feelings to myself. I didn’t want to get hurt. I didn’t want to be vulnerable.
What made me take on this new challenge of being vulnerable? -Terri Wingham and A Fresh Chapter! I have had the opportunity to experience this amazing program twice. First at the Cancer Advocates Refresh Program and more recently as part of the Peru Odyssey. These programs have given me the tools to believe in myself, live at the end of my comfort zone, and reimagine the future. I see the world through a different lens and have Terri and my tribes to thank.
But I now know I’m resilient and if I get hurt I can bounce back. I know that people read stories and form connections with the story teller. My friend Pat Killingsworth was a wonderful story teller. He had connections deep within the myeloma community. He helped and inspired countless individuals including me with his daily blog. Pat was vulnerable. His untimely death left a hole in the myeloma community. One that has not been filled.
Adversity has brought about a positive change in me.
A Fresh Chapter
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