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Showing posts from February, 2015

Movie Trailers and Myeloma

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Today I went to the movies with a good friend.  I always look forward to our girl's day out to see the latest flicks. We went to see Still Alice.  Although it was sad I still enjoyed the movie very much.  Julianne Moore definitely deserved the Oscar she won.  I'll write more about the movie in another post. Today I want to focus on how I know I'm in a better place than I was 6 years ago. Six years ago I didn't enjoy going to the movies.  Actually I dreaded going to them for several reasons. I had a hard time focusing.  My mind would wander.  If the movie didn't catch my attention  I would start to think about all that was happening to me and what my future would look like.  I would have a private pity party right there the theater without inviting anyone else. Focusing was not only an issue at the movies, I couldn't focus on reading a novel either. I would re-read the same page several times to try to comprehend what was happening, and if you asked me t

Birthdays and IRBs

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Six years ago today I had my stem cells re-infused two days after high dose melphlan chemotherapy was administered to me.  This high dose treatment which destroyed my immune system was suppose to get rid of my myeloma too.  Well things didn't turn out as we all hoped they would.  One hundred days post transplant my cancer markers were exactly the same as they were pre-transplant.  I achieved STABLE disease I was not in remission. I was devastated.  I thought I failed or did something wrong. Others who had transplants around the same time I had mine were being congratulated on achieving CR's (complete remissions). No one said anything to me. The silence was scary. I thought this meant the end of the road for me.  My induction therapy stopped working after four cycles and the gold standard stem cell transplant failed to put me in remission of any type.  My box of chocolates (what my myeloma doc calls my treatment options) was beginning to get picked over. Luckily the next tre

What Could This Mean? Any help Appreciated

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Dex is back in the mix.  My local onc feels that my numbers are trending upwards so he suggested we try adding some dex to see what happens and increase my velcade dosing back to once a week.  I agreed for now since I see my IgG numbers have increased by 50%. My IgG  from Labcorp was  876 mg/dl when I switched to a maintenance regime in March 2014. According to Labcorp my IgG was 1277 mg/dl at my latest draw on 1/30/15. My IgG numbers have increased according to my myeloma specialist's hospital lab too from 857 mg/dl back in March 2014 to 1158 mg/dl on 1/6/15 still within the normal range but almost a 50% increase. So now I need to find the answer to my question.  Is this showing progressive disease. I plan on asking my myeloma specialist buddies in the next few days about my IgG numbers.  Could they have increased by 50% because my immune system is finally recovering?  The 50 % increase still keeps me in the normal range. Maybe this is a good thing and not a bad thing. It'

My Biggest Decision- EVER

Deciding to retire from teaching was the biggest decision I EVER made. I still think back on occasion and question my choice.  I do miss teaching. I miss the students.  I miss my collleagues.  I miss the wonder I saw in my students eyes when we explored science. I miss seeing the world through a 10 year olds eyes. The only thing I don't miss is grading papers.  I decided to retire because I knew I couldn't give my all to the classroom. I knew I would have to take time away from my classroom to have my treatment and visit doctors.  I knew that there would be days that I would have to go to school on a dex high or a dex crash and my students would have to deal with a less then pleasant  Mrs. C.  I knew that during cold and flu season my students would come to school sick and tell me that they didn't feel good as they proceeded to get sick over my desk.  I knew that my chemobrain would interfer with my ability to multi-task in the classroom. I knew that the old Mrs. C would be

Change of Plan

I'm sitting the the waiting room waiting for an infusion room chair to open up.  It's a cold rainy snowy day. The kind of day you wish you stayed in bed.  The myeloma roller coaster is taking off once again. My m-spike and IgG numbers are slowly inching up, at least by Labcorp results.  My numbers from Mt. Sinai seem to be steady. So what do you believe?   My doctors disagree. One says stable disease while the other says I'm progressing very slowly. I guess it depends on which lab results you are following.  As a patient it's very confusing.   My husband always believes in the more positive results.  He still is somewhat in denial that I have cancer, even after 6 years. I tend to be more cautious.  I would rather work on the assumption my disease is slowly progressing and make decisions based on these results.  With that said, my new approach is to increase my maintence dose of Velcade from once every other week to weekly - 4 weeks on 1 week off ,adding a little Dex to